Honey, there’s a list at the door

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Titles I was excited to spot on the BBC best films of the 21st century list:

A Prophet
A Serious Man
Zero Dark Thirty

I was happy about The Social Network too but that was more or less expected, and hence not as exciting. Can you really believe there were people willing to justify The King’s Speech and Argo over The Social Network and Zero Dark Thirty?

I was pleased those two impostors couldn’t find a place on the list. “The Social Network should have won the Oscar.”- Me on my death bed.

If I had to make my own best films of the 21st century list, it’d include:

The above mentioned six.

A Jonah Hill drama
A Jonah Hill comedy
An Australian western
A Nicolas Winding Refn production
A movie shot by Roger Deakins
A movie shot by Emmanuel Lubezki

A Danish account of hijacking
A super-stylized violent American Indie
A quirky American Indie romance
Bourne jaunting across Europe

A movie about a man stranded in space not starring Matt Damon
A vampire flick
A biopic
A movie set in LA
A movie set in NY
A Korean spy flick
American adaptation of the said Korean spy flick
A documentary made by Martin Scorsese
A Shakespearean adaptation
A Wes Anderson feature
A Japanese animation
An Iranian drama
(The last two, oh how predictable)

A movie from Denis Villeneuve
and a movie from Jeff Nichols
Can’t ignore Tarantino
or Paul Thomas Anderson
Same with JC Chandor
and Sion Sono
How about the one from Robert Rodriguez
and the original Ice Age
If I add the original Shrek as well, would I be taking it too far
like maybe Amy Dunne?
Let me regain some critical favor by throwing in Alexander Payne
and quickly lose it by adding Django Unchained?
(Wait a minute, I’ve already done that)

I have nothing against summer blockbusters
nor against Danish bad boy auteurs
‘Summer blockbuster’ isn’t a director, so I can go for more than one
and even with directors, I have already made an exception for the Danish auteur
and for David Fincher
and oddly enough for Judd Apatow.
The train is running off the rails, so I’m going to bring in some Belgian heft
and a great Danish account of depression
To which I prescribe some sunny French disposition
and a Pixar treatment of the human emotion
How about one that combines sunshine and depression
or another childhood classic from Pixar

I had an existential crisis at this point. I doubted my self-worth and the futility of this exercise and the boneheadedness of the list and walked away.

(2 days later) Ok where were we? Let’s do this thing.

A Yorgos Lanthimos film with Lea Seydoux; Deux birds at once
A musical that isn’t La La Land or even a musical but from the same director
A modern day slow-western that is kind enough to let us know
A Xavier Dolan shout-fest
A movie set in a car
A horror set in the woods
A contemporary doc
A contemporary best pic winner
A movie with James Franco
A movie with lesbians
A Matthew Vaughn production
An Armando Ianucci political comedy
A Kevin James Smith departmental store comedy
A world war film
A French teenage girl film
An Edgar Wright film!
An alternate alien invasion movie
A Jackass movie?
A movie from Laika

69 seems like an auspicious number to stop at. That’s room left for 31 more movies. That’s room left for you to add your own favorites. I regret not making room for a Clint Eastwood or a Darren Aronofsky film. (The list can be seen here http://letterboxd.com/redstupid/list/films-of-the-21st-century/)


Honey, what’d they want?
They wanted to sell me their opinions I guess.
Well, did you buy any?
I thought I’d just torrent them.
You’re such a cheap-ass honey, you know that? I love that about you.




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