Sharapova takes up Batsman’s cause/Catwoman digs in her claws


You might not remember the painstaking research and the tenuous linkages that were concocted in the making of the Batman vs Djoker post. But that’s okay- in this day and age, our memories don’t last beyond a day or two; and that calls for constant attention-seeking maneuvers and this sequel is one such maneuver. (I used the word twice in order to learn how it’s spelled.)

Batman retired and left a void in his place. The Djoker was gleeful and reeled off another triumph at the year opening Australian grand slam. If the residents of Gotham City were to feel safe at night and secure enough to send their kids to school in the day, they needed someone to fill Batman’s shoes- and quick. (In this universe, Djoker winning a grand slam triggers a complete breakdown of law and order: the gates of Arkham Asylum go up, parents get shot in front of their kids in back-alleys, and all law enforcement officers go on leave.)

The prayers of Gotham City’s residents were answered last week when Maria Sharapova- of all people- decided to take up the role of acting city guardian and Catwoman. While Batman’s strategy of thwarting the Djoker involved mega-scale movie openings and promotions, the Catwoman seems to have adopted a more low key, private, and beneath the sheets strategy. Her ploy, in simple terms, is sleeping with the Djoker’s opponents.

You see, Sharapova is someone who’s highly desired and when she chooses to give herself over to a 20 year old nobody, that results in a massive boost and convictions of invincibility. Take for instance, the 21 year old Grigor Dimitrov, who came out all blushing after a night out with the Catwoman and went on to promptly dispatch the Djoker. The unwitting Bulgarian was forthright enough to confess to the influence his “girlfriend’s” “words” had on him, but the fool just exposed his foolishness. He’s no boyfriend of the Catwoman, he was just a pawn sexually aroused to keep Gotham city safe. The Djoker’s opponents better get used to having their sleep disturbed on the nights before the match.

As for the Djoker himself, what is he to do to bring this promiscuous mischief to an end? He can’t well keep tiring himself out playing these sexually-charged adolescents!  He needs a card up his sleeve, and that card means making Sharapova commit to a faithful relationship with a single man. Last I heard, the Djoker was on the lookout for a Casanova to ensnare the Catwoman.

Lastly, here’s the evidence of a Catwoman’s boy-toy upping his game

P.S: Don’t be alarmed, this is just the 2nd part of a series where Djokovic’s defeats are linked to Batman.

The first part:


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