Chapter 1 : The Horror
A team failing to score 52 off the last 8 overs with 6 fuc*ing wickets in hand. Not to mention the batting powerplay overs, a batsman batting on 150 and the previously completed 42 overs, from which 300 were scored.
Chapter 2 : The Depraved Selfishness
There’s no stopping India from winning. The ease of the chase is getting a bit boring. Can’t see things getting tighter though. Let the countdown to Sachin’s 200 begin. The team needs 64 and Sachin needs just 33 of those to reach 200.
I will not be able to forgive myself for not being at the (local) stadium if Sachin becomes the first batsman ever to score a 200 in an ODI. 195 and with it the world record for the highest individual score is okay but 200? no, I can’t take it.
Come on Raina, hit some! Yippee a six and a four, Sachin now needs 32 of 52. Sachin accumulates his runs with such ease that it’s equivalent to giving the finger to all the other batsmen of the world. Oh boy, how stoned would I be if AB could do something like this.
Raina on strike, Watson with the ball. Hit some more you dashing lefty, shit he’s gone. There won’t be denying Sachin his 200 now. All that Jadeja can do is take singles, what a catastrophe! Wait a minute, Bhajji’s come in ahead of Jadeja (yay). Bhajji can’t squeeze singles even if the world’s survival depended on it. C’mon Bhajji! let the flashing blade do some talking. Fuck! he’s gone too.
Friends beginning to get jittery. Doubts are creeping into their minds. Chill guys, the result’s a foregone conclusion. The only thing to worry about is Sachin getting that 200 (a whack on the head).
28 of 46. Sachin’s efficiency is going to make mincemeat of my dark desires (boohoo). Powerplay has been taken. The genius is now going to get at least 2 boundaries each time he comes on strike, damn it.
Jadeja, you little beauty. He’s scoring freely and keeping Sachin off the strike. Sachin now requires 26 of 31. Poor Jadeja, the fans are pissed at him for scoring runs. Normally, they admonish him for not doing so. Wah kya Irony. More good batting from Jadeja. He’s dashed a million hopes in that over. Sachin’s stuck on 175 and India need only 19 more. I’m one sick relieved man.
Chapter 3 : The Hypocrisy
These non-sportive Indian fans don’t deserve a victory. They don’t appreciate good cricket if it comes from the opposition. Cameron White raises his bat after his 50 and the crowd’s fallen silent. WTF!
India’s batting and the audience is now roaring for even a wide. The cheers get louder if the Aussies misfield and the cheers go bust if they pull off stunners. Terrible stuff, this is why I believe Indian crowds are not the best. Cricket crowds are not to behave like football crowds.
I don’t see myself appreciating a good shot if a South African bowler is at the receiving end and I do see myself relishing the sight of a South African batsman getting a second life. Yet, I continue to point fingers and play the blame game.
Chapter 4 : The Tribute
That’s what the rest of the batsmen did once Sachin got out. They wanted to show how class-apart the great man is and how lost they would be if he weren’t around. What better way to celebrate your 20th anniversary than by knowing how indispensable you still are for the team. Well done boys, you ran great lengths(pun intended) to achieve this one (19 from 17 to be precise).
Chapter 5 : The Aftermath
Everyone’s foot was up Jadeja’s ass. Sachin’s transfer to Ireland was being deliberated upon by the severely shattered. Sachin, the phenomenon, trended as high as 3 even in the cricket-alien world of tweetosphere.